The cocker spaniel is prone to ear infections, so she needs a solution squirted down her ear canal and massaged in on a regular basis. She absolutely HATES it, but she endures it because she’s a good girl and she knows she gets treats after.
The border collie does NOT have ear issues, and doesn’t need the solution, but every time I’ve finished doing the cocker spaniel’s ears, he comes slinking up to me with his tail between his legs and an expression like “It is my turn for the ear torture. 😔😔 do your worst. 😔😔😔” and he will KEEP ACTING LIKE THAT until I put the closed nozzle of the ear solution into his ear and tip it upside down and massage his ear for a bit. Then I tell him he’s done and he immediately turns delighted, because “oh, wow, I survived the ear torture, and now I’m just vibrating with delight at my survival, wow, that was rough, but I made it through”
At literally no stage did we ever tell him he needed his ears done. He just saw the cocker spaniel getting it done, and was like, “oh. 😔 ear medicine for all of us 😔”
The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.
I have never before heard of Everett True, but if he “regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude,” I have a strong spiritual connection with him.
I fucking love him
i can imagine this guy’s voice very clearly in my head but i couldn’t put a name to it
i can’t stop thinking about that post about spiderman having a patreon. would he have benefit tiers? $1 guarantees weekly videos of him doing backflips somewhere Very Up High. Monthly goal is his rent with a promise like “if i have the bare minimum a human being needs to survive i guess I can keep fighting crime which is cool. mutually beneficially.” rumor has it that once someone sent him $1000 directly on ko-fi and he showed up at a birthday party but who knows.
$1 Access to Spiderman’s snapchat.
Spider-Man seems like the kinda guy to show up to a kid’s birthday party solely to surprise children and eat cake, so whoever allegedly paid $1000 to do what he probably was already planning to do is either very kind or a fool
oh no he crashes children’s birthday parties all the time and gets party favor baggies. this was a 21st birthday party which was very stressful bc he kept stumbling over trying to politely refuse drinks bc he’s a good kid but while also not revealing he’s legally too young to drink
Even better: just… a montage of Spidey’s excuses for why he can’t drink
“Sorry guys, can’t drink and swing”
“I’m, uh, the designated web-slinger!”
“I actually just finished consuming the liquified remains of a few carjackers, so I’m good thanks”
“…i can’t risk it harming my eggsac?”
“…no mouth”
NO MOUTH
this is exactly the kind of “very pure but also very stressed” peter we all know and love
